Blessings

Publicized large families are going to be my family’s downfall.  First it was the Duggars. Now, thanks to a recent article in the Washington Post, it’s the Kilmers. These families with their wholesome values make my family look like the Osbournes.  

Without trying to sound presumptuous, having lots of kids is really not that big a deal.  I don’t understand how completely ordinary people with overactive fallopian tubes can appear extraordinary.  Trust me, managing lots of children is really just a matter of learning how to ignore.  A lot.

When I compare my family to theirs, I feel I might be doing a great disservice to all wholesome large families.

For example, the Kilmer’s have a cutesy roll call/cheer as they pull out of their driveway. 

My roll call?  It involves yelling out most of their names intermixed with a few choice words, because like a pack of wild dogs, my kids have yelped and snapped their way to gain front seat passage. To the victor--a slew of insults that range from “jerk” to nothing G-rated enough to note here.

The Kilmer children may hold hands from their respective car seats, but mine won’t.  My car seat duo flick boogers. 

The only time Sam and Kenny aren’t squabbling is when a Bruno Mars song comes on the radio.  As sweet as I may find it, Madison can’t bury his fingers far enough into his Eustachian tubes.  And Stancey, on the rare occasion she rides along, will glare through her darkly rimmed eyes before cranking up the volume on her IPod.

There is no doubt, my children are not friends.  They are siblings. It’s not “one for all and all for one.”  Rather, it’s “every man for himself,” and if you want that last piece of pizza, you better lick it. If you don’t mark it, someone will eat it.

In all fairness, not all our moments are that ruthless.  Sometimes, for no reason, Sam or Kenny will randomly blurt out, “I love you!” And as long as I can stop Madison from saying anything about their sexual orientation, the moment is golden.

Despite all of that, I still thank God each day for them--my blessings.  However ordinary I may be, I am always amazed by the extraordinariness they bring to my life.