Flowers and Rainbows

At age five, Kenny is already a seasoned pick up artist.  He quickly engages in clever conversation wherever he goes.  Although I’ve noticed he has a preference for blondes, really most any shade will do.

At the grocery store, his target is Oberlin College students.  His amazing powers have mesmerized the bag boy, "Man, I need to take lessons from him!"

Kenny can perform with or without props.  Fast food might pull the ladies in, but it’s his tapestry of one-liners that keeps them bewitched.

“Hey,” he’ll say hypnotically wagging a French fry back and forth, “I like flowers...and rainbows!” 

The little girls love that one.  I swear, they visibly swoon.  

In particular, it's John’s office assistant, Lindsey, that he likes most of all.  He once commented to her while petting her long, blonde hair, “So cute!  Can you make me a grilled cheese sandwich?”

I’m baffled by his flirtatiousness, because I know he doesn’t get it from me.  I blame his father.  Aside from telling me about every one of his ex-girlfriends, John likes to remind me that he kissed his own babysitter when he was only twelve.  I’m fairly sure that’s John's own urban legend, I can’t help but think how amazing it is that the two of us even collided.


Sigh, but that’s a story for another day.


Yep, Kenny is the Charlie Sheen of the kindergarten sect.  His goddesses include his twenty-something swim instructor Cora, five-year-old neighbor Breena, and, of course, me.  He can be a bit demanding, but then again, what man isn't?


Every mother thinks her son is going to be a heartbreaker, and I'm no different. As I sit back and watch him work, I can only imagine what he's going to be like when he's a teenager.  


I just hope by then he'll quit picking his nose.