God Bless the Coward

I am an ostrich with one ear in the sand and the other eye closed. 

I watch the news, but with the sound off. 

I scan headlines, but I don’t read.

This is my view of the world. 

I am a coward in a world of unknown heroes, angels, and monsters. 

My children, the ones that will let me, I hold close.

And the smaller ones, whose hands I hold, tell me I hold too tight.

But each morning, I let them go, and I watch them separate from my world into another. 

I am aware that the unimaginable has been imagined. 

I am aware that life will continue…or it won’t.

I am relieved that my miracles are intact.  And with the next breath, I feel guilty that I’ve been spared.  But torture exists between my breaths as I think about if and when the time will come.  To live in fear is to not live fully.

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light.”

But in the midnight of their darkness, I can only imagine how faint their light must be.  In the darkest of winter, and in the stillness of this season, I pray for that spark to light the way. 

God bless the roughhewn souls who feel damaged beyond hope.  In their brokenness, may they eventually find some peace.

And may God bless me, a coward.  Just grateful for one more day to hold tight to the hands of my children.